Wireless Power

I'm tired. I almost didn't feel like writing today because I'm falling asleep in front of my computer here. If I trail off halfway through this its because I fell asleep on my keyboard.

My friend and I were working on his car last night until about 2 am and we still haven't finished it yet! The silver lining here is that surprisingly we haven't broken anything at all. Usually I'm a destroyer of things.

We're almost done though, got to put together the dash and we should be good to go. Hopefully nothing screws up from this point forward. The hardest part for us was running one wire. One wire took us a whole 2.5-3 hours to figure out. It was the wire that goes from the battery to the trunk. We could not figure out how to get it to the engine from inside the car. Its a power cable. They should invent wireless power. No wait, I should invent wireless power.

We tested the system out and there's enough bass and vibration to give you a nice back massage while driving. Different types of music should yield different types of back massages. Shiatsu? Go with rock music. Thai massage? Play some classical. Deep Tissue massage? Throw on some techno or some rap maybe. He should start charging for car rides. If he had heated seats he could do heat massages too.

The new cd deck also has Bluetooth hands free built into it which is amazing for when you're driving because now instead of holding your phone and chatting while driving you can talk on the phone, and eat a burger while driving, or do your makeup if you're a girl (or a queer). Save time by multitasking. I don't think the new handsfree driving law bans burgers so that's a plus. Also who comes up with the name 'bluetooth'? How does the word bluetooth and wireless relate in anyway? Are multiple bluetooth devices blueteeth?

The other day the Raptors beat the Lakers! That isn't supposed to happen. That's like PC Cola beating out Coca-Cola, or vegetables being better than meat, Robin being better than Batman, it just doesn't happen, because Robin's a dweeb. But it happened. They won. Sign of the apocalypse perhaps?

Remember the coworkers talking about dog mating? One of their dogs is pregnant and about to give birth and she's excited to watch cause apparently its a beautiful thing. Mila Kunis is beautiful. Dog birth is not. Google both, you'll see.

Can I sleep now?

Peace.

"But steroids would be easier."

I had a pretty good weekend. Let's start with Friday at work though. A friend was chatting with me saying how she was bored at work. I suggested she do a cartwheel in the office to help stir up some conversation in the office and make the day interesting. For whatever reason she laughed at the idea and sarcastically suggested I do it instead. Challenged accepted.



Friday night we had a surprise birthday party for one of our friends. She totally knew and really made no effort of acting surprised either. What a jerk. Anyways it was a good time. I had a full rack of ribs which could probably have fed a small village in South America somewhere. I could feel it clogging my arteries as it went down. Don't ever let me order ribs again. Too delicious but just way too much food.

I know you're probably thinking about how I was talking about eating healthy and all that but I still haven't gone out to buy a boatload of chicken and salad yet but I will (eventually).

My friend and I have been wanting to get into shape for a while and since he gawked at my idea of using horse steroids, we joined a gym instead. I'm real excited to get started (steroids would have been easier) and hopefully will reach my goal of being in the best shape of my life by my birthday. I want to be able to crush a coconut with my bare hands, that would be kind of cool and oh so useful.

Joining this gym was such an easy process with no real haggling or hasselling involved unlike another gym him and I joined a few years back. We got a flyer for 'that gym' a few years ago and it was 16 weeks for $16. 'That gym' had the stereotypical meat head manager who probably had an Arnold like accent sit us in a room and talk to us for 3 hours telling us we need to join this gym. His deal went something like this (picture overly aggressive hand gestures as well).

“Look, our 346,234 star gym is the best in the world and by the time you're done here you'll be able to crush a car between your biceps so obviously this is the gym for you. Our prices are normally $107 a month but since you guys are good guys I'm just gonna slash that right down to $94, sounds good right. But wait gimme a second, (speakerphone calls some random dude) hey Rocky, do we have any more of those corporate deals left?” Rocky then responds by saying , “I dunno Arnold there such a good deal there going really fast.” Arnold then hangs up and turns to us while drinking a protein shake, “How about this guys, I give you the corporate deal and bam that $94 becomes $76 how does that sounds good right? Nobody gets this deal. But if you sign a lifetime contract right now I'll just slash that down to $54 and bam sign here.”

If you notice the above conversation you will see that neither I nor my friend were able to get a word in. After 3 hours of him chewing on protein bars and constantly using the word 'bam' we ended up staying with the deal on the flyer, 16 weeks for $16. They probably hated us. All I remember thinking is 16 weeks for $16 bucks is a good deal, and I love cars, so why would I want to crush them between my biceps?

And we won our basketball game 75-74 on the weekend. My stat line: 18 pts, 8 rbs and 6 ast plus a game tying 3 pointer at the end of regulation to force overtime. Yes I felt like a hero.

Peace.

"This car is supposed to be three different colours."

I hate not having a car. I feel so useless and dependent on others. I feel like I'm 14 years old but without the screechy voice or high metabolism. At least when I was 16 I could easily use my parents car because I never had a car of my own but now it seems like they expect me to have a car. It's like as soon as I got my own car their cars became the property of the other 5 family members and not me. I never thought I'd say this but I miss that Impala.

I'm trying to find a car but I'm not sure if I want to go all out or buy something cheap and save some money. I'm looking at something used and you always have to wonder how well the car was maintained. You run into these shady people who tell you the car has never been in an accident yet the car is tri coloured with a different coloured door and a different coloured rear bumper. Right. Then there are those people who always try and pressure you by saying “uhh no pressure, but I have a couple other people that are very serious about buying the car too.” Good for you. Sell it to them. Then I had this one guy who said I can test drive the car as long as I pay him first. Are you kidding me? Sure I'll do that as long as you have a return policy you moron. He was brown too, sigh (sidenote: He was bragging about V-TEC but he pronounced it WEE-TEC, I laughed inside).

New car dealers aren't much better. They try and sell you all these extras that are either entirely useless or ridiculously expensive. Tints, $400? They better block out UV rays and bullets at that price. Rust proofing for $699? Does this also bombproof the car sir? The prices are marked up so much its ridiculous. If you bought any of these things from the dealer no offense but you are an idiot; actually screw the 'no offense' you are an idiot, all offense.

Beyond the salespeople its so hard to figure out what you want. I can't buy zee German car because when they break down I'll have to sell my unborn first child to pay for it. I can't buy Korean because who knows how reliable they are. I can't buy American because....well they're just ugly. I'll stick to Japanese because they seem to know what there doing. A Honda Accord maybe (stereotypical brown person car I know, I won't put any chrome strips on it I promise).

Speaking of the Japanese, today I ate Asian food and was given chopsticks. How do you eat rice with chopsticks I don't get it. Being as advanced as they are wouldn't they have upgraded to forks like 1000 years ago? Do they even use chopsticks in Japan still? Maybe they have some super advanced electronic way of eating, like a Hello Kitty toy feeding you exactly what you want while saying annoying catchphrases that nobody should like. I'm not sure how the wildlife works over there, but if possible I hope Godzilla eats Hello Kitty (since they're both obviously real).

I got a basketball game tomorrow, will tell you how it goes on Monday...

Peace.

^ This side up ^

So I bought a Honda S2000 on December 24th and 2 days later on December 26th decided I wanted to see what it looked like upside down and since I can't do a handstand I did the next best thing and strategically crashed it so it would land upside down. It worked. Turns out it looks better right side up. Luckily I wasn't injured aside from a stiff lower back and a couple cuts on my hand from the shattered glass. It sucks because I searched so long trying to find that car and colour combination and 2 days later it was gone. Kinda like I rented it. It was my affordable dream car so does having it for 2 days mean I accomplished my dream or not? Either way I'm just glad to be alive (and you're glad I am too I just know it).People keep asking me if I'm nervous driving now. I'm not. I went boxing day shopping that same day and drove myself. Talk about falling off the horse and getting right back on. I'm either incredibly strong mentally or just incredibly stupid. You decide.

I had a gray Chevy Impala as a rental and man does that car make you feel old. I was getting senior discounts at the grocery store when they saw my car and could even park in the handicap space in front of a police officer and he would just smile and wave. Weird. At least I didn't have to pay for the rental. I kinda managed to scrape the bottom of the front end a little bit on the curb which left a tiny scuff there so I was kinda nervous when I was returning it in case I would get charged for it. In an effort to conceal my crime I made sure that I returned the car at night and that the car was stupid dirty when I returned it. It worked cause I wasn't charged anything. Then again maybe my insurance company was. Meh.

Probably the best thing about the Impala is how everyone slows down when you drive past because from a distance they think you're a cop. I was so tempted to throw some lights on top and drive around like a maniac but I chickened out.

So in summary leave the car crashes to movie stunts, and the Impala makes you feel like a senior citizen, or a cop, or both. And who said you wouldn't learn anything from this blog?

Oh and 3 coworkers (all female if that matters) were having a rather lengthy discussion about dog mating today and how different breeds mate differently. Don't think about it, it's gross (but you just did).

And I just found out I get 30% off raptors tickets cause I'm part of some insurance broker group thingy. Sweet.

Peace.

mmm...deep fried.

Yesterday I ate at Popeyes Chicken as part of a balanced nutritional diet (Chicken is on the the Canada food guide so screw off). I use to work at Popeyes as a cook(term used loosely). I remember having to clean the fryers every week or so and how disgusting they would be. All of the week's grease and fat and random pieces of whatever that got stuck in the fryer and continued to be deep fried for a week would come out looking like burned flesh. It totally grossed me out I wanted to throw up every time. In case you're wondering I still ended up ordering a number 6 meal with extra hot sauce yesterday, it tasted delicious.

Deep fried anything tastes good. Sure eating anything deep fried probably takes a few years off your life and increases your circumference drastically, but it just tastes so damn good. Why can't anything healthy taste good? Celery tastes like paper soaked in water. Whole wheat anything is like the ugly cousin of non-whole wheat(is that the term?). I started eating multi-grain Tostitos cause they actually taste better but apparently multi-grain isn't all that great for you either(it sounds healthy doesn't it?). And when it comes to cereals Reese puffs or All-bran? No contest which one I'd choose. It's so hard to eat healthy but I am trying. I switched to a diet pop with my supersize Mcdonalds meal (just kidding, diet and Mcdonalds is an oxymoron).

I am trying to cut out pops and chips and unhealthy snacks and so far it has worked out pretty good. I feel better and have probably increased my life expectancy and lowered my bad cholesterol(pretty sure bad cholesterol isn't only for old people). I'm hoping to start bringing in a chicken salad to work everyday to replace one bad meal per day, but I was suppose to start that about 3 weeks ago. I can force myself to do salads, even though they don't really taste good either other than the dressing, and the dressing IS bad for you(there's no winning is there?). I even started drinking green tea which tastes like liquified grass and smells like a freshly cut lawn. I think it is grass. I'll test the theory in the summer after I cut the lawn and use the clippings to make 'green tea'. Then I'll pay my little cousins gummy bears to sell the tea at a (lemonade stand) green tea stand for money. I'll be rich. No you may not use my idea, I thought of it first, but I may consider franchising.

Oh and the other night I somehow fell out of my bed and I got a huge bruise and a small cut on my forearm and my back is sore. I feel like I just got out of a title fight. Who falls off their bed, seriously?

Peace.

Inaugural Blog

Hey fellow bored people at work(life),

I work for an insurance company and either I'm really good at what I do and work really fast or am a really big slacker (I'll leave it for you to decide) and have some time on my hands. So I thought (a friend suggested) that I should start a blog. If you're smarter than my cat you've figured out that this is that blog.

I figure if I'm bored, there's others out there as well. This blog will be filled with tons of valuable information about what's going on in the world and how you can retire rich and save for your children's future. What I mean by that last sentence is it'll be completely and utterly useless to your life other than giving you something to read when you're bored. Chances are it'll be filled with typos too.

Seriously though, I'll be writing about whatever the heck I feel like. It could be about my day, how I feel, that cute girl who works in the next office, asparagus or sports. You'll probably find a lot of Toronto Raptor rants and some random venting when I'm frustrated with something. Maybe I'll put some random pictures and stuff up too who knows.

I'll try and post at least once a week for all my followers (I know what you're thinking I won't have any, but my mom already said she would! side note: her english isn't that strong and she doesn't know how to use a computer).

So read it if you want, or don't. But if you don't I hate you.

Peace.