Recovery Room 101

You ever just want to punch something? Like out of sheer frustration or anger? Sometimes I get so mad my first reaction is to just hit something. I’m not sure if it’s very smart since you know, bones can break and stuff (referring to my own here). When I’m mad I don’t hit people(never) I just hit objects. I’ve punched doors, walls, a fridge, my garage door (yea its dented, makes me feel manly). It’s pretty stupid actually. I don’t do this if they ran out of Aero chocolate bars at the convenience store, only when I’m really, extremely pissed off (which takes a lot). Just wondering if this is some kind of anger management issues I have or if it’s normal. Actually I’m not wondering, it’s my normal, so whatever, don’t judge me.

I played basketball after a very long time; still recovering from an ankle injury from about 4 months ago. For the first couple of games I felt like I was going to go into cardiac arrest, but luckily I survived and the next few games after that I think my body (especially my lungs) started to remember that a long time ago I use to do stuff like this on the regular (physical activity). Even if my body remembered I was capable of this once, I still sucked. A good reason for that might be because my only physical activity recently has been limited to searching for the tv remote buried somewhere in our unnecessarily large couches. Sometimes it takes so long it makes me want to punch something, just kidding I’m not that crazy. Relax.

How do you know when you’re over someone? It’s kind of hard to tell. Most people try and forget about everything that happened in the relationship but I think that’s wrong. I think if you do that the moment you see something that reminds you of them or are at a place where you two use to hang out, it all comes crashing back down and its back to recovery room 101. I think you’re over someone when you can see all those things, be at those places, and just appreciate the good times you had together. And if you hate somebody you definitely aren’t over them, because hate is an emotion that consumes you, and then you’re just stuck thinking about them. The reason I bring this up is recently I happened to run into a few spots where me and an ex of mine had hung out, ate at, I actually saw her drive by on a random street, I drove by a spa I sent her to once and it started to bring back all these memories of us when I was doing such a good job of moving forward. The good part is that although it did bring back those memories and I did momentarily miss having her around, it also put a smile on my face knowing those were good times in my life, knowing that I was able to make somebody so happy for a period of time and that they did the same for me. So maybe I’m not completely over that ex like I thought I was, since the missing part did come into play momentarily, but thankfully I’m getting there. And yea I do sometimes wonder if she ever thinks about me at all, but I think that’s because I just generally wonder if someone is capable of completely forgetting somebody, because I’m not. I pray she’s beyond happy.

Lately a few of my cousins and a few friends have been going through some tough times and I’ve been trying my best to help them through it. They all thank me and say I’m extremely helpful and I always know what to say, I hope they aren’t just stroking my ego because I genuinely want to help, and my ego is getting too big anyway (a friend of mine said she constantly ‘deflates’ my ego as a favor to me so my head can fit through doorways). These people I help thank me but I’d like to thank them back for being able to trust me with their most personal problems. It actually means a lot to me. I enjoy helping and it’s in my nature to do so. And all the credit there goes to my selfless family. My whole family is built on helping others even before you help yourself and that is one thing I am so prideful about. Without my family (grandparents, cousins et all) I’d definitely be an arrogant selfish b*stard of a man I’m sure.

Ramadan starting soon plus OVO fest (drake’s concert) this Sunday, should be fun.

Later.